Tips for Contacting Your Child's Teacher
- Rebecca Temby
- Aug 31, 2024
- 3 min read
Being in this business for a number of years, I have been extremely lucky to have had some excellent relationships with parents. I actually love parent-teacher interviews, because I really enjoy connecting with parents and untangling their questions and any concerns they have about their child.
Speaking to your child’s teacher could be necessary for a variety of reasons. It could be classwork, peer struggles, behaviour in the classroom, managing the school-home life balance or even something more troubling such as severe anxiety.
I will never forget one parent ringing me in desperation to discuss her fourteen-year-old daughter. Every night, this girl would end up crying hysterically in the bathroom, feverishly anxious about her performance in upcoming assessments. This girl was an “A” student.
Speaking to her mother helped me to understand her needs and how I could alleviate her anxiety. It also helped her mother to get some reassurance that her daughter's anxiety was not because of her underperformance, it was because she was always striving for an unattainable grade. Both of us went forward that day with a clearer picture of how we could help.
Sometimes in high-school, parents don’t get the chance to speak to their child’s teacher often. Most high-school students do not want their parents within a several kilometre radii of their school!
Additionally, it can be difficult for some parents to know how to approach their child's teacher. I've been told we can sometimes seem intimidating. For some other parents, they may not know how to broach the subject of their child or when is an appropriate time.
For those who want to know how to break the ice and initiate a conversation with your child’s teacher, here are some strategies:
Send an email, this is great in a high school setting. Introduce yourself and your child. Give a run-down of any concerning issues, patterns or requirements you believe the teacher needs to know.
Have an informal chat with the teacher at school drop-off or pick-up times. You will know if the teacher is able to talk to you if they seem open to a conversation: look for eye-contact, warm smiles, and “bids” for receiving communication.
If they are not able to speak at the beginning or end of the day, send an email or access any parent-teacher communication apps to find out when would be a good time to chat.
Realise that your teacher is a person, just like you! Teachers have good days and bad days. If they don’t reply to an email straight-away, it could be because there were a number of priorities they needed to get to and you may have been temporarily lost in the chaos. Send them a gentle reminder email to follow-up.
Be on the side of your child’s teacher. Approach them from the perspective of a team-player who forms a unit that is working alongside you and your child. Be your child’s teacher’s ally and see how the relationship improves.
Let them know you would be keen for updates on any work due or how behaviour is going in class.
If there are any issues, ask questions first. Sometimes your child tells only one side of the story (gasp!) and there may be other factors going on that you are unaware of.
Sample email
Here is as sample email (names have been changed for anonymity) of an email sent to me recently by a parent, keen to discuss her child’s recent diagnosis.
Hi Rebecca,
How are you?
It was lovely to chat the other day at parent-teacher interview. I am sending an email to some of Ethan’s teachers as he will be seeing Dr Roberts next week to review his ADHD and his medication.
Ethan was diagnosed with ADHD with some characteristics of autism and the main issues he has are getting distracted from tasks, impulsivity and organisation (which I have no doubt that you have noticed).
If you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on him in class and letting me know how he is getting on. If you notice any changes in behaviour or are having trouble with any of the above issues, please reach out. Email is the best method of contact.
Kind regards,
Janelle (Ethan’s Mum)
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